Our 
Cats
Blueberries And Cream aka Princess aka BratCat
This little British Shorthair is all cattitude.
"Tuna, I want Tuna, you will open a can of Tuna!"
She loves to sleep on the Hutch over the computer monitor.
She also loves to hang out on top of the 35 gallon Aquarium
Sgt Joe Friday aka George (of the jungle)
Although his official name was Sergeant Joe Friday -
George is a purebred British Shorthair and has sired many others.
To give an idea of his size, those tiles he's walking on are 8 by 8 inches!
June 11, 1999 Update.
Well, George has become quite the housepet!
We've decided that George is a puppycat since he comes when he's
He also is a watchcat. He hears any sound from outside and he
November 22 1999 Update.
We purchased two cat beds and each have a cat bed sitting
This seems to be his favourite sleeping position during the day.
This is George the day we brought him
As you can see, George really likes to sleep near his human.
My daughter Penny had read the following story to me last year
So for everyone who has lost a dear four footed friend,
Just this side of heaven is a place
When an animal dies that has been especially close
All the animals who had been ill and old
The animals are happy and content,
They all run and play together,
You have been spotted, and when you
The happy kisses rain upon your face;
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
- - - Author unknown to webmaster...
Always accompany humans to the bathroom.
Doors:
Remember, a closed door is something a cat always wants to be on
Chairs and Rugs:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly.
Helping
If one of your human staff is engaged in some activity
The Following Are The Rules for Hampering:
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel
2. For book readers, get in close, under the chin, between eyes and book,
3. For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to
4. When your human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her,
5. When your human is working at the computer, jump up on the desk,
Walking:
As often as possible, dark quickly and as close as possible,
Bedtime:
Always sleep on the human at night so they can't move around.
Litter Box:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter as possible out of the box.
Hiding:
Every now and then, hide in a place where humans can not find you.
One Last Thought:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around
The following is dedicated to all those owned by cats and/or dogs.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
The proper order is kiss me, then go sniff each other's butts.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door...
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
Cat Quotes
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods.
"In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats."
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
"Dogs come when they're called;
"People that hate cats, will come back as mice
"There are many intelligent species in the universe.
"I have studied many philosphers and many cats.
"No heaven will ever Heaven be,
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life:
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
"Dogs believe they are human
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
Another name for her is But'n'face, which is not short for Button Face
(although she IS as cute as a button) but rather for 'Stands With Butt In Face'.
Her favourite facial expression seems to be, "You've got a problem with that?"
She has a great talent for opening every drawer and cupboard door in the house.
She also has a rather interesting way of telling us when she
doesn't like a particular flavour of cat food and makes her
opinion quite clear; she tries to bury it!
Then walks away with a facial expression that could only mean;
'You didn't really think I was going to EAT that did you?'
Years ago the vet told us that tuna isn't good for cats
but once or twice a year I'll give in to her pityful cries
for tuna and give her a couple of teaspoons of the water
from a can of tuna.
because she might get lucky and be able to catch a fish!
that name just didn't seem to fit when we got him.
We had recently seen the movie "George of the Jungle".
and since he was big, affectionate, handsome, gentle and
- back then - he was also clumsy - George of the Jungle
seemed to fit and when I called him George, he came running.
He is also a wonderful example of one description of the Breed:
"A soft ball sized head on a shoe box sized body."
He had been retired by the breeder and neutered.
We were fortunate enough to be looking for another cat
when he became available for adoption.
He had never, until he joined our family, been a house cat.
He is the most affectionate and snuggly cat that has ever owned me.
He has been having a great time learning to play and
has explored just about every corner of his new home and
has knocked over just about everything that can be knocked over.
Currently we are trying to get him to STOP playing with
our feet through the quilt in the middle of the night.
He is quietly vocal and he talks to himself constantly as he walks
and galumphs around the house, with a wonderful meow/trill/purr.
He has a rather impressive vocal range, from cooing like a dove
to a sound that can only be described as a short, soft bark!
He also talks in his sleep!
He leaps and plays and galumphs all over the place,
mostly chasing Princess all over the house trying to mate with her.
Yes, he is neutered and she is spayed but he doesn't know it!
He walks up to her, sits down with a questioning look
on his face, reaches out and gently touches her side with
a paw (this is cat foreplay?) then leaps on her!
She hisses and claws at him, he backs off with a puzzled look
on his face -- like 'why isn't this working'?
Not that she's a victim here, if he hasn't chased her
for a while, she'll walk up to him and tease him until
he responds. She seems to love the chase, she just doesn't
want to get caught!
called, runs to greet us when we come home, and as soon as either
one of us sits down, he jumps up and lays across our chests.
And when anyone comes to visit, he immediately greets them by
jumping up on them.
runs to investigate. He also sleeps at the foot of our bed, where
he can make sure nothing comes down the hallway to bother us!
on the tops of the hutches of our computer desks.
One day, after vacuuming the computer room I noticed
two stuffed cat toys, one pink mouse and one brown teddy bear
in George's day bed, so I tossed them back on
the floor with the other cat toys. A few hours later I
noticed they were no longer on the floor but were back in
his cat bed. Curious, I waited until George came back into
the room and tossed them back down onto the floor.
George glared at me and then picked them up in his mouth
and carried them back up and dropped them into his bed!
Is he relaxed and secure or what?!
to his new home with us from the cattery.
We put an extra pillow above my head for him and
he seems to like holding 'paws' with me while we sleep.
and I was later able to share this with a dear friend who had
recently lost her old feline friend.
I hope this brings some comfort.
called Rainbow Bridge.
to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,
and our friends are warm and comfortable.
are restored tohealth and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed are made
whole and strong again, just as we remember
them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
except for one small thing;
they each miss someone very special to them,
who had to be left behind.
but the day comes when one
suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent;
His eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group,
flying over the green grass,
his legs carrying him faster and faster.
and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion,
never to be parted again.
your hands again caress the beloved head,
and you look once more into the
trusting eyes of your pet,
so long gone from your life
but never absent from your heart.
The Official Book of Rules That All Cats Live By:
Bathrooms:
It is not necessary to do anything.
Just sit there and stare
the other side of, no matter which side he or she is on.
Do not allow any closed doors in any room.
To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer on the door with forepaws,
while howling pitifully - imitating a siamese's howl is always effective.
Once door is open, it is not necessary to use it.
After you have ordered an "outside" door open, stand halfway in and out
and think about several things.
This is particularly important during very cold weather,
rain, snow or mosquito season.
If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug.
If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.
When throwing up on the carpet make sure you back up
so the deposit is as long as a human's bare foot.
and the other is idle, stay with the busy one.
This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering".
of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance
of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
unless you can lie across the book itself.
obscure as much of the work as possible. Pretend to doze, but every so often
reach out and slap the pen or pencil out of your human's hand.
They really like this.
be sure to jump on the back of the newspaper.
Humans love to jump.
walk across the keyboard, bat at the mouse pointer on the screen and
then lay across the human's lap, over their arms, hampering typing.
Having a cat jumping on the hand they have on the mouse is also a
favourite distraction for humans.
in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something
in their arms, in the dark and when they first get up in the morning.
This will help development of their coordination skills.
For additional attention at night, about 3 hours after they've fallen
asleep, go into another room, or if you're in a two storie house,
go to the other floor then start yowling as if you've been injured or abandoned.
Do not respond to their voices calling you, insist that they come and get you
and carry you back to bed.
Humans love the feeling of litter between their toes when they come to rescue you,
barefoot, in the middle of the night (see Bedtime Rule).
Do not come out for 3 or 4 hours under any circumstances.
This will cause your humans to panic (which they love) thinking
that you have run away or are lost and terrified. Once you do come out,
the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.
And don't forget to include guests.
with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do
I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
Beating me to the bottom is not the objective. Tripping me doesn't help,
because I fall faster than you can run.
I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on
the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping,
they can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know
that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your
paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through
the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for
years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive
your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink,
don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't
need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant you can sell
the results .
They have never forgotten this."
- - - - Annonymous
- - - - English Proverb
- - - - Ellen Perry Berkeley
cats take a message and get back to you later."
- - - - Mary Bly
in their next life."
- - - - Faith Resnick
They are all owned by cats."
- - - - Annonymous
The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- - - - Hippolyte Traine
unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- - - - Unknown
music and cats."
- - - - Albert Schweitzer
- - - - Ernest Menaul
Cats believe they are God."
- - - - Unknown
- - - - Colette